Chances are you might check the illustrious potentate's blog every now and then... and if so, then you definitely laugh out loud from time to time. Let's call this the "BSNYC Quote Thread" to compile some of the better ones and maybe turn some people onto a truly entertaining blog.
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I, however, am an experienced mechanic, and so I promptly stress-relieved the wheels by blowing marijuana smoke onto them (I've never actually read "The Bicycle Wheel" but I think I've got the gist), fashioned a crude spoke wrench from a carrot, trued the wheels using the brake pads as a reference (the equivalent of tuning a guitar to itself, or turning up your stereo to drown out your TV), and commenced the first ever BSNYC/RTMS Street Cred Test.-BikeSnobNYC
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that last post is full of win. i had quite a good laugh. fucking hilarious.
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I agree that knowing your lactate threshold is absolutely vital. It's simply not enough to listen to your body. Sure, it will tell you when you're too tired or you can't go any faster, but how can you believe it without establishing a threshold? I've also established a "bathroom threshold" so I know when to relieve myself. If you break the seal too soon, you won't build up the necessary endurance, yet if you wait too long, you might have an accident. That's probably the best part about having a coach--it's like reliving toilet training.-BikeSnobNYC
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My biggest regret this morning (besides not having just stayed in bed, where the "feels like" was "womb-ish") was using a bicycle equipped with brakes and fenders. (If you're reading this in England, "fenders" are the same as "mudguards." And if you're reading this in Australia, "fenders" are "wheel wallabys.") Sure, I was able to both stop and maintain a high degree of dryness, but I totally ruined my bike's "clean lines" and subtracted fistfuls of points from my already minimal "street cred":
-BSNYC
I'd have thought a "flair to footjam" would simply involve mincing around in a dress for awhile and then stubbing your toe, but it actually involves going upside down:
-BSNYC
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Does anyone know what pic won the photo contest?
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He hasn't announced who won yet...sadly.
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Indeed, you can't spell Scattante without "cat"--which proves there's a little pussy in every one. (However, that's not going to keep me from rubbing my Scattante.)
-BSNYC
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"By the way, I saw a Rollerblade commuter this very morning, though at first I thought he was just scuba diving to Popeye's"
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Yes, it's unfortunate that we must secure our bikes with pounds and pounds of locks. Frankly, it makes me mad--mad enough to knock over a Vespa. (Vespa-tipping is, of course, the gentrified urban version of cow-tipping.)
-BSNYC
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If you've been looking for an excuse to upgrade, here it is. The XTR hub is a huge step up from the XT model, which merely cups the balls, and a significant upgrade from the LX hub, which kind of mushes them. I don't even want to say what a Deore hub does to the balls, but suffice to say unless you want to replace your balls on a regular basis you're better off walking. Actually, you might as well put the balls in a vice.
-BSNYC
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Lug-slobberers are the same kinds of people who get excited about things like wine and furniture design and who spend $200 on architecture books.
-BSN
Shit, I think I might be a Lug-slobbere
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If Lug Slobbers also obsess about beer, kittens, and spandex you are in.
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Actually, the only reason you don't hear more about tire theft is that most people don't have the necessary dedication; instead, once they've got the wheel off they figure they might as well graduate to wheel theft so they just take off.-BikeSnobNYC
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Armstrong has been tested constantly since returning to the sport, which frankly strikes me as a huge waste of time. Retiring after all those Tour wins only to come back and cheat would be like making the world's greatest best man speech at a wedding, returning to your table, and then getting back up 20 minutes later to urinate on the cake.
BSNYC
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I'm not much of a bike polo fan (I prefer bike lacrosse)
-BSNYC
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Simply locking your bike to itself is like marrying your sibling, in that it's only slightly more convenient but the consequences are far more likely to be disastrous.-BSNYC
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